Together even after death: from January the German town of Troisdorf will let people be buried with the ashes of their dogs, cats and other pets

What happened

The town of Troisdorf in the Rhein-Sieg district of North Rhine-Westphalia is to allow joint burials of people and their pets. The new rules take effect in January. A pet's ashes can then be buried with its owner at two municipal cemeteries, the Parkfriedhof and the Waldfriedhof.

As the broadcaster WDR reports, the town's decision has touched many people. For some residents it means not having to part with their animals even after death.

Helga and Maja's story

One of those waiting for the new rules is Helga Berben. Her dog Maja is now 14 and has long been a full member of the family. Helga does not want her to be buried somewhere without care after she dies. She says it would be lovely if she and Maja could one day lie in the same grave.

How the burial will work

The process requires patience from owners. If a dog or cat dies before its owner, it is first cremated. The owner keeps the urn at home. Only after the owner's own death does the urn go into the grave with them. A pet still cannot be buried on its own in the cemetery.

Which animals are covered

The new rule is not just for dogs. The ashes of a cat, a bird such as a budgie or a rabbit can also be buried with the owner. The main restriction is the size of the urn, which means the ashes of large animals such as horses cannot be buried under these rules.

What the rules are

The size of the urn is strictly limited: no more than 24 centimetres in diameter and 30 centimetres high. In addition, no separate grave may be created for the animal, and the pet's name may not appear on the owner's headstone. Only a small memorial stone is allowed.

Why these restrictions

Cemeteries in Germany are subject to strict rules, and many people still regard them as places for humans only. The restrictions help to respect the feelings of those who object to joint burials. The pet's urn is not visible and the grave remains a human grave, but the owner knows their pet is with them.

What the mayor said

Troisdorf's mayor, Alexander Biber, backed the new rules. The town wants to accommodate residents for whom pets are part of the family. The decision was taken after discussion in the town council. Troisdorf is one of only a few towns in the region where this is possible.

What opponents think

Not everyone in Germany welcomes such decisions. Some believers and church representatives feel cemeteries should remain places for people only. Others fear joint burials will change the familiar character of cemeteries. That is why towns introduce such rules cautiously and with restrictions, as Troisdorf has done.

Why ashes and not bodies

Under hygiene rules, an animal's body may not be buried in a human grave. Cremation solves the problem: ashes are safe and take up little space. That is why all the known models of joint burial in Germany involve urns containing an animal's ashes, not whole bodies.

People and animals throughout history

Joint burials of people and animals are nothing new. In Bonn-Oberkassel, not far from Troisdorf, a Stone Age grave about 14,000 years old was found. Next to two people lay the remains of a dog. In antiquity, people were sometimes buried with dogs or horses.

The pharaoh's dog

One of the best-known stories is that of a dog named Abutiu in ancient Egypt. Around 2300 BC it was given a lavish burial on the pharaoh's orders. All of this shows a deep emotional bond between people and animals that existed long before our time.

Why people want to stay close to their pets

For many people, especially those living alone and older people, a pet is their closest companion. It shares their joys and sorrows and sometimes lives with them for 15 to 20 years. The wish not to be parted even after death is understandable. Psychologists say such options help people cope with grief.

How pets are buried in Germany now

There are several options in Germany. An animal can be buried on your own land, provided it is not in a water protection zone and local rules are followed. You can use a pet cemetery. Many owners choose cremation and keep the urn at home or scatter the ashes where this is permitted.

Why Germany is so strict about cemeteries

Germany has some of the strictest burial rules in Europe. In many federal states human ashes must be interred in a cemetery and urns may not be kept at home. Cemetery rules are set by the states and municipalities. That is why even a change as small as allowing a pet's urn in its owner's grave needs a separate decision by the town.

Pet cemeteries

There are dozens of pet cemeteries in Germany. There you can choose a separate grave, place a headstone with the pet's name and visit it. This costs money: plot rental, the stone and upkeep. For many owners it is an important way of keeping their pet's memory alive.

Where else joint burials are allowed

Joint burials of people and pets are already possible in a few other German towns, for example at individual private or special cemeteries. The rules are set by states and municipalities, so they vary widely from region to region. Troisdorf's decision may encourage other towns to follow.

How other countries handle it

Approaches vary across Europe. Some countries have cemeteries where people and animals are buried side by side. In the Netherlands and the UK there are sites for joint burials; in Britain a number of natural burial grounds and pet crematoria offer them. In some places individual cemeteries decide, while elsewhere such burials are banned by law.

If your pet dies at home

If your pet dies at home, call your vet. They will advise you on what to do next and can arrange cremation. An animal's body must not be put out with household waste. If you want to bury it in your garden, check the local rules: there are usually requirements on how deep the grave must be and how far it must be from water sources.

How to choose a cremation

There are communal and individual cremations. With a communal cremation, the ashes are not returned to the owner. With an individual cremation, you receive an urn with your own pet's ashes. If you would like the ashes to be buried with you one day, choose an individual cremation and an urn of a suitable size.

What can go on the grave

In Troisdorf the animal's name may not appear on the owner's headstone, but a small memorial stone is allowed. Many owners want their pet's memory to be visible. A small figure or a stone with a paw print can show that the grave holds not only a person but also their faithful friend.

How to plan ahead

If you want your pet's ashes buried with you, set out this wish in your will or funeral instructions. Tell your family. Keep the urn somewhere accessible and check the rules of the cemetery where you would like to be buried.

How to cope with the loss of a pet

1. Allow yourself to grieve: losing a pet is a real loss.
2. Talk to family or to others who have lost an animal.
3. Create a memory: a photo album, a paw print or a memorial corner.
4. Seek support from a counsellor if your grief does not ease; in the UK, the Blue Cross runs a pet bereavement support service.
5. Do not rush into getting a new pet until you feel ready.

How to talk to children

For many children, a pet's death is their first experience of loss. Speak honestly and simply, and avoid phrases such as "gone to sleep forever", which can be frightening. Let the child say goodbye and take part in the burial or a memorial ceremony.

Why the issue is becoming more important

Millions of households in Germany have pets, and attitudes towards them are changing. Pets are increasingly seen as family members rather than simply animals. That is why demand for cremation, pet cemeteries and memorial rituals is growing. Troisdorf's decision reflects this shift.

What this means for Europe

Troisdorf's example shows that towns in Germany and elsewhere in Europe are beginning to take account of people's wish not to be parted from their pets even after death. Owners for whom this matters should check the rules of cemeteries in their area in good time, choose an individual cremation and put their wishes in writing.

When to see a vet

Talk to your vet if your pet is elderly or seriously ill: they can help ease its condition and advise you on when it may be time to think about a gentle goodbye. After your pet dies, the vet can explain how to arrange cremation and what burial rules apply where you live.